Self Care
Dear Tacit,
Everybody talks about “self care” – I don’t want to just have bubble baths all the time, so what else can you recommend?
Signed: Real Self Care
Dear Real Self Care,
This topic is SUCH an important one. But, as a society, I think we tend to overuse this term so much that it has almost lost all of its meaning. When someone says “self care” it’s almost cringeworthy – I see serious eye rolls and deeply exaggerated sighs. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Self care just means taking care of your own needs – making yourself your own priority.
Self care is the thing that you do to bring yourself some joy, or pleasure, or moments of quiet and serenity – it is a moment of grounding or anchoring, in your day. It might be something small, like having your favorite music playing in the car or standing in your bare feet on the grass. Or it might require a little more time and effort, like taking a bath, preparing your favourite meal or watching some truly mindless TV.
Sometimes, it can be more about getting rid of something toxic or stopping an unhealthy pattern in your life – like quitting smoking, saying no to an extra request in the day, or cancelling plans so you can have a moment to yourself. And sometimes it is about trading something out from your already busy day because you know it will soothe your soul – like some breathing exercises; or a workout at the gym; or some time in the garden.
Self Care can be looked at in 4 specific aspects of one’s life. There is a physical component (how you take care of your physical body), an emotional component (how you release your feelings), a mental component (how you distract your mind/take a break from stress), and a social/spiritual component (how you connect to something bigger than/outside of yourself). Here are some examples of “self care strategies” for each of these 4 aspects – I encourage you to think outside of the box and come up with activities that fit best for your personality and your lifestyle.
Physical Self Care – personal hygiene routines (showering, brushing our teeth, bubble baths – or teeth whitening, facial masks, pedi’s and mani’s); being active (workouts, going for walks, dancing, sledding, swimming, Tai Chi); getting the proper nutrition (eating well, taking vitamins and medications properly, enjoying comfort foods, eating out/having someone else cook for you); staying hydrated (drinking lots of water, enjoying your favourite fancy beverage, eating fruit that has a high water content); practicing deep breathing; enjoying a massage; getting your hair done; seeing a dr/optometrist/dentist regularly or as needed; etc
Emotional Self Care – crying, laughing, screaming into a pillow, talking to a friend, rocking or swinging, having a PJ day, sleeping in, wrapping up in a comfy blanket, watching a favourite show (anything that matches your emotional mood), going for counselling, sitting in the sun or by a fire, being in nature, lighting candles, listening to water (water fountains, waves on the shore, rivers flowing), snuggling with a pet, connecting on social media, journaling, letting your imagination take you on whatever journey it wants to, etc
Mental Self Care – playing games (alone or with others), taking a course, learning a new language, listening to friends problems or just hanging out and doing something together, painting, getting creative (cooking, knitting, artistic endeavours, writing poems/music, writing a book), trying a new hobby, video games, Netflix, doing a puzzle, watching a movie, reading, “tuning out” and doing nothing (letting your mind reboot), etc
Social/Spiritual Self Care – hanging out with friends, volunteering, going to church/temple/mosque, meditating, yoga, babysitting for someone, reading to or playing with a child, joining a team/group event/activity/sport, praying, youth group activities, watching the stars/contemplating nature’s reach, studying existentialism or philosophy, reading the bible/Torah/Book of Mormon, just letting you mind wander wherever it decides to take you, etc
The important thing to understand is that self care is just the act of taking time for you – it is about finding ways to feed your soul/energy levels instead of draining them. We need self care every single day. It is NOT an act of laziness, it is an act of caring for one’s self as equally as we care for those in our life that we love. We all need to build ourselves a mental health toolbox that carries a wide assortment of self care activities, so we can pick up at least one of them a few times a day – whether we have just 5 minutes or a full hour to spare; whether we are alone or surrounded by others in a public place; whether we are in the car, at work or in our own bedroom.
Take Care!
Interested in knowing more about helpful self care – beyond the simple examples listed here? Want to learn about the critical foundational ingredients that must be balanced every day in order to manage a hectic life? Do you know the difference between “Pause” and “Refill” breaks (and how to integrate both throughout your day)? Learn how to dump cortisol (stress hormone), and boost happy hormones (especially when life is trying to force the opposite to happen). And figure out how to establish appropriate boundaries, without feeling a lot of guilt. Join Tacit Knowledge, in partnership with Beaumont FCSS, for a FREE 4-Week Support Program – September 30th to October 28th (Monday evenings) at 6:30pm (for an hour or so, each time) for “More Than Bubble Baths”. This Program is happening via Zoom and is open to everyone (you do NOT need to be a Beaumont resident to participate). To register, contact FCSS at 780-929-1006 or fcss@beaumont.ab.ca.
Do you have a question you would like us to address? Please feel free to reach out to us at counsellors@tacitknows.com. Your answer will be provided confidentially.
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