Dear Tacit,
With kids back at school, do you have any suggestions for the best school routines?
Signed: Best School Routines
Dear Best School Routines,
A solid routine makes the transition back to school much smoother for kids and parents alike! The thing to keep in mind is to balance structure, consistency, and flexibility so kids (of all ages – this works for college/university students too) feel secure but not micromanaged.
It’s important for kids to have a regular bedtime. Teens typically need about 8-10 hours of sleep a night and younger kids need 9-11 hours of sleep. Before your child climbs into bed, give them time to winddown. Maintain a no- screen- time rule for 60 minutes before bed. Fill that time with getting lunches, clothes and school bags ready for the next day; putting on PJ’s; brushing teeth; reading quietly; or sitting and chatting (so your kids can finish processing the events of the day, before they try to fall asleep).
Ensure bath and showers are finished at least an hour before bed, so body temperatures can lower before your child tries to sleep (internal body temps have to be slightly lower than average in order to get good quality sleep).
Help your kids wake up at the same time every day. And develop a routine that flows the same, every time (in whatever order that works best for your family) – wash up, get dressed, make the bed, eat breakfast.
If you pick your kids up from school (walking or driving), use the travel time to ask about the highs/lows of the day in a casual, non-pressured way. If you don’t see your kids right after school, that’s okay – just create some time in the evening for the same chat. It will help you stay connected and informed about their friends lives and anything that might be a worry from the day. You don’t have to try to solve the problems for your kids, but they need to learn how to vent about/release their thoughts/feelings in healthy ways (so emotions do not get stuffed). If they learn how to open up about the simple stuff, it will make it easier for them to tell you about the hard stuff when they need to.
Keep things in their proper places. Create a common spot (a basket, hook, or shelf) where shoes, bags, and school supplies live. This works well for school snacks in the pantry and fridge, too. If you have younger kids or children with ADHD, use visual charts or checklists to help keep mornings running smoothly. And encourage kids to dump their stuff in the right spots when they get home from school.
Allow some transition time between school and homework. It’s usually helpful to give about 15–30 minutes for a snack and some downtime before expecting kids to reboot their energy for more tasks that need focus. Encourage a quiet homework space (even if your child needs music playing, keep the volume low) and use timers to help structure consistent homework time (20–25 min chunks with breaks in between).
Don’t be afraid of assigning some (age-appropriate) chores for your kids to complete after their homework or in the early evening hours, so they don’t just jump on screen time right away. This can be tied to allowances if you want – but it doesn’t have to be (I used to tell my son that we all had to help out – it was just the price of being a family).
Device time is not a bad thing, but be sure you have set a specific amount allocated per day so it doesn’t get out of hand (and so you know what they are playing/watching).
Try to eat a meal together, at least once a day, whenever possible. It will build more connection and communication habits. As your kids get older and are involved in more independent activities, meal time together might happen less – but don’t let it disappear completely.
Encourage outdoor time every day. Movement (of any kind – 20 to 60 min a day) is so necessary for a person’s physical, mental and emotional needs.
And once you get these routines firmed up within your family, try to keep them as consistent as possible across weekdays and weekends/holidays (with a little flexibility), so your kids’ body clocks and expectations don’t get completely reset. Remember too, mom and dad – your kids are watching! So do your best to role model the healthy patterns you want your kids to learn!
Take care!
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