Time To Quit
Dear Tacit,
I have developed a cocaine habit that I want to stop. But I don’t really know who to take the first steps.
Signed: Time To Quit
Dear Time To Quit,
First, congratulations on taking a HUGE first step already. Recognizing that you have a problem or that you want to make a change in a habit you have been carrying for a while is the hardest part of the process, in many ways. It takes a lot of self awareness, honesty and courage. Quitting a drug habit (or any negative coping pattern in life) isn’t just about stopping the use—it’s about untangling the reasons behind it, finding solid ground again, and reclaiming the power in your life that the drugs have taken, piece by piece.
Now that you know you want to stop, there are a few things that might help. Denial is what keeps habits alive. And naming the problem weakens its hold. So be honest with yourself, multiple times a day. Admit you have a habit that needs to be changed – say it out loud, to yourself or to others you trust and will accept support from. There will be times when your brain tries to tell you that it’s really not so bad, or that you can handle the behaviour in small doses. But for now, that’s a trick meant to derail your progress. So, ignore it. By talking about the change you want to make, every day, you are holding yourself accountable. You are breaking the secret and admitting the truth – that this behaviour is impacting your life in ways that you no longer want.
Look inward. Figure out how your habit is causing you problems. Why do you want to stop? When you quit, what will be different (and better)? Write down the motivating factors that you can use to remind yourself to keep going when giving up seems best. And try to connect to the emotions that surface when you think about quitting. What has the drug been helping you avoid or feel? What are you feeling when you reach for it, the most? Knowing your emotional triggers (the “need” that the drug use has been filling for you) will make it much easier for you to prepare to find healthier alternatives instead.
Create a support network of alternatives. What (and who) can you turn to, when the itch to use cocaine begins again? If you do not have something else to fill the void that the absence of the old habit creates, then you are setting yourself up for failure. The habit will, of course, creep back into the spot it left behind. You will need to create new routines – new social connections – new ways to relax, have fun and manage your emotions that make you feel good and allow you to stick on the path you are choosing. Build in activities that promote wellness in your life in other ways (build the positives) – like massage, Neurofeedback Training, exercise, better nutrition, etc.
Depending on how long you have been using the cocaine, the withdrawal process might be rough—even dangerous. Medical support might be important. Talk to your doctor or contact an Addictions Helpline to find out what you can expect to go through, both physically and psychologically. And make arrangements for some medical intervention, as needed. This is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it’s one of the smartest things you can do. The process will be challenging in many ways. If you want to be successful, you need to be able to set yourself up with as many solutions as possible to the potential obstacles that will get in the way of your success.
Consider starting some form of therapy as well (1:1 counselling, a group program, a self-help support, etc). There will be questions that come up for you, as you make this change in your life. And a therapist is trained to help you find the answers in a timely way. You might need to learn more about yourself (who you are at a deeper level than the cocaine habit), or face an old issue that you didn’t know how to manage. You might need some help in finding solutions to the obstacles that try to sabotage your change – or you might be drawing a blank about alternative behaviours that would be worth trying. Your therapist can help with all of these things. And he/she is also a safe and trustworthy person to use for accountability, with no worries about being judged if you slip up. They will help you get restarted again, whenever you are ready. And they will genuinely be excited for you as you achieve your goals.
Above all of this, you are going to need to learn how to be really kind to yourself through this entire process. Relapse doesn’t mean failure. Slips don’t erase progress. You do not have to have it all figured out before you begin. Just take one step at a time. And focus on how strong, courageous, and healthy you are trying to be. Because that matters the most!
Take care!
Do you have a question you would like us to address? Please feel free to reach out to us at counsellors@tacitknows.com. Your answer will be provided confidentially.
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