Workplace Supports

As a workplace supervisor, what is the appropriate response when someone on my team tells me they are struggling with their mental health?

Dear Workplace Supports,

First, let me just say that if someone on your team shares with you about a mental health struggle they are having, this is likely a huge compliment.  Your employee must feel safe enough in the relationship that they have with you to open up like this.  It takes a lot of courage to show vulnerability in this manner, especially to anyone who is in a position of authority.  Many people in the workplace are too worried about being judged or stigmatized (thought of as “less-than” in some way) to be so authentic about the mental health challenges that they are experiencing. So, kudo’s to you for creating a workplace environment that is supportive and understanding.

As a supervisor, your response can make a big difference in whether your team member takes the next steps to get the help that they need.  Continue to be supportive and compassionate.  The first steps in this type of conversation need to come from an emotionally connecting place (not a problem-solving place). Try to just be a (non-judgmental) listening ear at first.  Avoid interrupting or jumping to solutions right away. Allow the person to fully share as much detail about their situation as they wish, and be compassionate as they do.

It is perfectly okay to ask questions to clarify if it helps (this is an excellent way to show you are trying to understand).  And remember to reassure the person that you appreciate them sharing the information with you – that you are there to support them in any way that you can.  Offer validation – avoid minimizing their experience (with comments that suggest everyone goes through something similar) or over-sympathizing (with comments that suggest the experience is worse than it is).  It is likely your team member wants your support, not your pity. (Keep in mind how much strength and courage it takes to bring this highly sensitive matter to you in the first place – it’s much easier for a person to stay quiet or in denial.)

When the person has truly finished explaining their situation to you, and after you have provided them with the empathy and understanding that creates safety, move into a discussion about what they think they might need.  Focus on their current workload – is there perhaps something (in the short term) that you could help them adjust, to make things a bit easier?  Be clear about what accommodations are (or are not) possible or within your power to offer.  You might need to take some time to figure out these details or to consult with your workplace policies, to be sure of the limits that exist for the supports that can be accessed. And it’s okay to explain that to the person before you commit to a plan of any kind.

Be sure that you are also looking beyond just the immediate workplace dynamic, though, too.  It is very likely that your team member is going to need support from outside sources.  If your company has mental health resources (an Employee Assistance Program, wellness programs, HR support), direct them there.  If not, go ahead and suggest general community resources without pressuring the person to feel as though they “have to” put your suggestions into action.   (You could say something like, “There are some great mental health support services available through X and Y —let me know if you’d like some info.”).

Remember that you are the person’s supervisor, not their therapist. Offer support but don’t try to “fix” their struggles. Keep the focus on the workplace rather than on deep personal discussions (stay in your lane).  It is essential for the success of your ongoing relationship with your team member that you always maintain respectful professional boundaries.

It is a great idea to check in periodically (a day or two later – and then again, a week or so later) with the person who has opened up to you about their mental wellness issues.  Don’t pretend the conversation never happened (this can send a message that the person did something wrong or that you have changed your opinion of them somehow).  A simple follow-up shows you care and helps the individual feel less isolated.  They may not wish to tell you anything further, and that’s okay.  But at least they know they still have your support.

If any of these steps seem daunting to you, make the effort to get some training or education (about what is available as mental health support in your workplace and in your community) as soon as possible – before you find yourself in this kind of situation.  Practice having a few conversations like this with your own supervisor, so you know what you will say when the time comes.  Learn how to be professionally compassionate and how to effectively validate – these are very specific skills that not all people learn in life.

The more prepared you are, the more comfortable you will feel when this kind of conversation happens.  And hopefully, it WILL happen!  Because we know that more than 1 in 3 people are struggling with real mental health challenges, every day.  These issues already exist in your workplace – do your staff feel safe enough with you to be honest about what they need (so they can stay on your team longer and with success)?  Or will they end up burning out or struggling in ways that cause bigger disruptions to everyone’s work day?  As the supervisor, you set the tone!

Take Care!