Needing More Time Off

I am on a medical stress leave and my dr just extended my time off by 3 months.  My workplace is pressuring me to return early – how do I balance taking care of my needs and not upsetting my bosses – how do I make my employer understand that I need this time to be a more effective member of the team?

Dear Needing More Time Off,

First, I want to acknowledge that you are in a tough spot. You need time to heal, but it sounds like you’re also feeling pressure from work (and it’s likely you need your job just as much as you need to recover). The key here is to set firm boundaries while maintaining professionalism.  You don’t need to justify your medical leave beyond what’s necessary, but you can frame it in a way that helps your employer see the long-term benefit.

Remind yourself (and your boss) that you are not letting anyone down.  Your health comes first. If you return before you are ready, you risk worsening your condition, which could lead to even more time off. You are not taking “extra” time – you are taking the time a medical professional has deemed is necessary (and that you are allowed to have off – just like if you were dealing with a physical health condition).

Communicate clearly and professionally with your workplace.  You don’t owe them personal medical details, but you can acknowledge their concerns while reinforcing that your leave is needed. You could say something like, “I appreciate your concern and understand the challenges of covering my absence. My doctor has determined that I need this additional time to properly recover so that I can return as a fully effective member of the team. I remain committed to my role and look forward to returning at the end of my approved leave, ready to contribute at my full capacity.”

Redirect the workplace focus to the bigger picture.  If they push back, you can reframe it in a way that benefits them.  Explain that coming back before you are ready could compromise your recovery, which isn’t good for you or the company in the long run.  Assure them that the leave you are taking will result in your ability to perform at your best when you return, without needing additional time off.  Thank them for the support that you can expect them to offer which will allow you to get to a healthier place properly.

If the pressure continues, you might need to get HR involved for support.  If your employer is violating workplace policies or labor laws, or is making you feel guilty, they might not be aware of what they are doing or how inappropriate it is.  In the long run, you are helping educate them so they do not do this again with other team members (you are also protecting the workplace from creating bigger legal issues).

Being on a leave for mental health reasons requires you to protect your peace of mind.  Avoid unnecessary work-related stress – respect the boundaries of your leave by staying off work emails and messages during your time away.  You will need to be able to focus on your recovery without guilt triggers.

And remember that when you are on medical leave, the focus should be on true recovery, not just resting until you can function again. The goal is to heal, recharge, and build resilience so that when you return, you are in a much better place.  Focus on your physical self first.  Get enough good quality sleep. Eat nourishing foods and engage in gentle movement (like walking, stretching, or yoga, etc) if possible.

Create a routine that supports your healing process. Avoid falling into an unstructured slump (staying up or in bed late; doing nothing; just “vegging”) which can add to the overall mental health issues. After the first few days of your initial leave (which might be days when very little gets done – and that’s okay), start to create a plan for each day that includes a regular flow for the kinds of tasks you feel ready to take on.  And then build from there.  Slow and steady – but with a bit more responsibility and success, as each day or week passes.

Make time for self-care.  This isn’t indulgence, it’s necessary. Process the stress that got you to this point.  Journaling or talking to a therapist can help unpack what led to the mental health challenges that you are facing. Learn helpful stress-management techniques for your situation (breathing exercises, mindfulness, grounding techniques).

Engage in activities that replenish your energy (if you are on a leave, it’s likely you are completely drained – aim for a feeling of neutral energy – and once that’s achieved, you can start to build into the positive energy zone again).  Do things that bring joy—reading, music, nature, art, hobbies. Reconnect with supportive people who uplift you (without draining your energy). Spend time in quiet and solitude (no devices) – this is needed too.

And begin working on a plan for a successful (and sustainable) return to work (almost right away, at the beginning of your leave).  Consider what needs to change so you don’t end up in the same state again.  Develop a plan for maintaining a healthy balance (in your personal life as well as at work) when you return.  Identify healthy boundaries to set at work (saying no, delegating, taking breaks). And implement the changes at home, before you return to work – so they are well established as new habits and so they can help you with your recovery process.

Remember that you are not being lazy. You are not failing. Taking this time is the responsible thing to do—for yourself and your long-term ability to function. Healing is not about “getting back to work quickly” but about coming back stronger and healthier.  It takes work, just in a different way.

Take care!