Being Bored
Dear Tacit,
Is being bored a good thing?
Signed: Being Bored
Dear Being Bored,
Yes – unequivocally yes! I cannot say it enough – YES!!!! First, let me explain what I mean by “being bored” – and then we can chat about why it’s so incredibly important to our mental wellness and our overall success in life.
Being bored is not just about a state of relaxation. It is the absence of mental stimulation. You can be bored while you do a task that is pretty automatic (go for a walk, shower, stand in a line at the store, attend a tedious meeting, sit on the couch), as long as that task requires little or no concentration. You want to create the opportunity for your mind to wander. There is no need to have music playing or sounds that guide your mood/brainwave patterns. Your thoughts need to have the chance to go freely in whatever direction they wish.
I cannot emphasize this enough – scrolling on your phone is NOT boredom! The more we scroll, the more we are usually trying to avoid a state of boredom (and then, believe it or not, it becomes harder for our brains to be comfortable with boredom, over time).
Many people initially perceive boredom as an uncomfortable sensation – it usually feels like restlessness, or dissatisfaction, at first. It can trigger a bit of anxiety in some people (if their minds jump to all the many things they “could” or “should” be doing instead). And when we are bored, time can feel like it has slowed to a snail’s pace – this can be off-putting for people who have become so accustomed to the chaotic, rushing pace of a busy world.
People who avoid boredom are teaching their brain to develop an impulsive mindset and this often leads to a struggle with self-control. The desire for constant stimulation can very quickly become the priority (people don’t feel “okay” unless something new is happening on a very constant basis – which leads to less things getting finished, and no time or self focus on the success of any given moment – this all lends to issues with lower self esteem and poor behavioural and emotional self regulation). Unhealthy or addictive behaviours can sometimes result, as the person will focus on how to make their brain feel “good” (with a quick fix of an external distraction) instead of allowing their brain to become comfortable with a sense of non-stimulation and self connection.
Boredom is an emotional response – so it can be uncomfortable for people who have developed the habit of overthinking in order to try to avoid their emotions. When we are bored, we may notice all sorts of feelings coming to the surface of our awareness (because they want to be processed in a healthy way) – sometimes people get overwhelmed by this and will try to escape it thru distraction.
But research tells us that being bored actually allows a great many things to happen in our brains. Sparks of creativity and imagination that allow us to think outside of the box come from a state of tedium. Boredom can be defined as the brain’s “search for neural stimulation that is not (otherwise being) satisfied” (2018 Mann – author and psychology lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire). When the brain is not provided with this stimulation, it goes to look for it. It turns inward, and grows connections to new daydreams, new ideas for being productive and new problem-solving skills.
Boredom allows a mental break from the external stimulation that is pushing the brain’s energy drain. By turning inward, the brain can refuel itself – multiple brain regions become active together during times of non-stimulation. This resting and recharging state is called the default mode network. Information gets consolidated, memories get stored, and wisdom is grown.
Boredom allows us to be braver – to seek new adventures – to try new things – to be willing to change the status quo in our life. We are not as likely to end up stuck in a rut, if we allow periods of boredom to guide us to the next step in our journey. It also teaches patience and stamina – which is critical for the perseverance that is needed in adult life (we cannot just drop something the minute we get uninterested in it – sometimes we have to learn how to withstand the boredom feelings and find other benefits from staying on-task with something that is less interesting to us).
Being bored is a skill that must be taught to us as children – and supported through the teen and adult years. There is a fine line between being bored in a healthy way, and being too bored (which can end up draining motivation and energy). But until we each get comfortable with a basic level of boredom on a regular basis (so we can reap the benefits that come with this process, and not automatically dismiss or avoid the feeling altogether), we cannot hope to find the balance that works best for our own needs.
Take care!
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