Feeling Motivated

Feeling Motivated

Dear Tacit,

I am struggling to get motivated – there are things I WANT to do, but I cannot seem to get myself started.  Any suggestions?

Signed: Feeling Motivated

Dear Feeling Motivated,

Feeling motivated is a tricky state to create.  A lot of people tend to mix up the idea of “being motivated” with “wanting or knowing” that they should be doing something different.  We can have perfectly terrific reasons for wanting or knowing that we should do more of this or less of that.  But this vision, based on intellectual knowledge or reasoning, is never going to be enough to propel us into an excited feeling about the actions we must take.

The problem is that our brain is already motivated (for better or worse) in the pattern that it is currently operating from.  We have motivation flowing behind the scenes (the sensation has likely been normalized because it’s been happening for so long), just perhaps not in the way our new reasoning wishes.  We actually have to recognize and counter this already-present motivation, so it can be replaced with a newer version.

New motivation is not the first step in a change process.  Feeling motivated is a result.  It is a sensation that comes alive only after change has already been implemented.  So, what comes before motivation?  What helps give us that result?  You probably won’t like what I am going to tell you!

Before we can expect to have an internally powered sense of motivation, we must first have a new motivator in mind.  We have to have a sense of purpose for the change we are trying to make in our life.  And that purpose has to align with our own wants, values and/or beliefs – not come from someone else’s thoughts/suggestions as to what we “should” be doing differently.

We also need to tackle the old motivation.  We have to take an honest inventory of the benefits and pleasure we are getting from the old patterns of behaviour.  These motivators have created habits (patterns of behaviours) that are now feeding the old motivation.

Basically, we need to dislike the results that we are getting from whatever we are currently doing enough that it drives us to create change.  Change is hard work.  We seldom change when things are easy or positive.  Real change lasts when we are uncomfortable in some way with the status quo (with how things are right now) because unhappiness/displeasure is a powerful motivator.

The new motivator will become the foundation for our new goals.  This vision needs to be realistic, measurable (so it is finite and we can know when we have achieved it), and broken down into small enough pieces that it becomes a series of many individuals goals (and not one giant combination of 5 or more, too big and complicated, with numerous opportunities for failure).

Once you have built-out multiple layers of small goals, your pathway forward will be clear and visible.  But you still need to attach actions to each step of the process.  You need to develop assists – strategies that will allow you to fulfill each of these goals.  These new habits have to help you say no to the motivation that is currently operating, so the new direction can begin to be realized.

And the fuel that will help you put these new habits into place (to override the old motivation) is called self discipline.  Self-discipline is often called self-control or willpower.  It is defined as “the ability to suppress prepotent responses in the service of a higher goal… and that such a choice is not automatic but rather requires conscious effort” (Duckworth & Seligman, 2006, p. 199).  Self discipline allows us to delay immediate gratification – and to stay focused on the longer term, new goals that we are trying to implement.  The more self-control we have, the faster the old motivation can be countered and a new feeling of motivation can begin.

Feeling motivated comes from the spark of success.  It is what gets fanned into life once hope/want and planning combine with self-discipline and action – when hurdles are overcome and progress is made down a new pathway that has been properly lit.  Once motivation takes root, it will begin to feed itself, much like the proverbially snowball rolling down a mountain.  It will get larger and stronger, the more we stick to the new programming.  Less willpower will be needed.  The road we are travelling on will become much smoother and easier.  The struggles lessen and the momentum of motivation grows.

So, in answer to your question, I encourage you to take a look at the goals you have identified for yourself (are they realistic, many and small?) – and at your old motivation (what will interfere with your changes?) – and at your level of willpower (is your self-discipline strong enough?).  If these 3 things are solid, feeling motivated will be your end result.

Take care!

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