Being Bored
Dear Tacit,
Is being bored a good thing?
Signed: Being Bored
Dear Being Bored,
Yes, absolutely! In a world where being busy seems to equate to being successful, much of modern society seems to collectively think that moments for pausing, decompressing, relaxing, recovering or taking time to connect to our own inner self should be avoided or considered “useless” or “lazy”, in some way.
So many people struggle to just sit in the stillness that is around them. For some, their own thoughts and feelings cause them to become anxious so they create distractions to drown out the connection they need to develop to their inner self (in order to truly find peace). Others find that being busy is the only way they can feel productive, so they over fill their plates with excessive responsibilities and expectations (and then wonder why they are always exhausted). Some crave a sense of control, and believe they can get this by always focusing on (staying “on top of”) various external aspects of their life (a complete fallacy, by the way). And sometimes, people overstimulate their children (and themselves) by filling the days with structured activities because they worry that they will somehow fall behind (in an unhealthy race).
Sitting still and allowing for moments of boredom is a hard thing to learn how to do. These days, studies suggest that a person’s attention span is, on average, around 8-12 seconds. This is much shorter than it used to be (largely attributed to the rise of digital distractions like social media and smartphones).
Being bored serves an important purpose in our personal growth, our ability to be creative, and in the development of our healthy mental well-being. Boredom is the absence of mental stimulation. You can be bored while you do a task that is pretty automatic (go for a walk, shower, stand in a line at the store, attend a tedious meeting, sit on the couch), as long as that task requires little or no focus. To truly embrace boredom, your mind needs the chance to wander in whatever direction it wishes (driven from within – not guided by music, or scrolling or even people watching)!
When we are bored, our brain craves stimulation. The lack of external input is the way we activate our inner default mode network, which sparks imagination and leads to new creative ideas. It’s why some of our best ideas come to us during “idle” moments. Boredom also pushes us to consider new activities or solutions. It motivates us to explore interests, hobbies, or challenges that might have otherwise gone unnoticed.
Quiet, unoccupied time allows us to think deeply about our goals, values, and experiences. This self-reflection fosters personal growth and increased self awareness (and comfort with self). Boredom can nudge us toward discovery and learning about who we are, as our brain fills the stillness with reflections on the wisdom moments life has handed us.
Modern life is often overly intense. Boredom can act as a signal to our brain to slow down, rest, or recharge our mental and emotional energy. It teaches our nervous system how to rebalance itself naturally – how to get out of the “crisis” state we get normalized to/accustomed to living in and how to become comfortable instead with embracing all that the present moment has to offer. This, in turn, creates a healthier physical self as well.
And learning to manage boredom without constant stimulation builds patience and emotional endurance. This skill is especially valuable in a world full of instant gratification. It teaches us to grow emotional resilience so our tolerance and ability to manage anxiety, sadness, disappointment, frustration, discomfort and hurt can become stronger.
So, when you ask if being bored is a good thing, the answer is yes! I challenge you to make time each day to let yourself embrace the boredom that will help you grow into a healthier, stronger, more resilient person, in every way. Start with just a few minutes, and see how long it takes before you can increase this to 30 min a day. It might be all at once – it might be broken into 2 or 3 segments throughout the day. Listen to what your brain is needing, and find ways to connect inward, regularly.
Take care!
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